...and I'll bet you thought you were done hearing about JaMarcus stinking up the place.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, just when you thought the Raiders couldn't get any worse, JaMarcus Russell took the field again this week. Again he showed that he does his best work from the bench, as the Raiders lost to the Redskins 34-13. Why was he on the field, you ask (since you probably didn't watch this irrelevant game)? See, $550,000/year starting QB Bruce Gradkowski left the game at halftime, with ligament injuries to BOTH knees. He may be out for the rest of the season. With the score 17-10, in comes JaMarcus (first draft pick in 2007, who makes more than $550k per GAME). Before he took his first snap, he was booed at home. Even by Oakland standards, that's quite the welcome. He deserved it.

The Redskins made mincemeat of him, sacking him six times in the second half alone, for a loss of 65 yards (part of an eight-sack day, with four of them belonging to rookie Brian Orakpo). The Raiders made mincemeat of themselves, committing 14 penalties for 118 yards (including one on John Fassel, the special teams coordinator). They gave up more yards in penalties than they gained in rushing, and you can't win games that way.

The Redskins upcoming games are at home with the Giants and Dallas, and away in San Diego. They're out of the playoff race, but they're in a good position to take New York or Dallas out of the playoff picture, too. Now that it's too late to make a real difference, the Redskins defense is establishing itself as one of the better in the NFL.

Now, on to the relevant teams:

AFC:
In: 13-0 Colts
Essentially in: 9-4 Bengals, 10-3 Chargers
Fighting to stay in: 8-5 Broncos, 8-5 Patriots
Keeping it interesting: 7-6 Jaguars, 7-6 Dolphins, 7-6 Jets, 7-6 Ravens
Fooling Themselves: 6-7 Steelers, 6-7 Texans

The Colts dispatched the Broncos 28-16 this week, which guarantees that the Colts will have the best record in the AFC, won't have to play during the first week of the playoffs, and will play all of their playoff games at home. At this point, they'll probably start resting most of their starting players – who will next play a relevant game on the 15th of January. The Broncos are essentially fighting for a wild card right now, and can't afford to lose their upcoming games (home vs Oakland and Kansas City, away at Philly)

The Chargers had no trouble beating Dallas 20-17, in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the score suggests. This brings them to 10-3. If they win any of their upcoming games (home against Cincinnati and Washington, away at Tennessee), they'll clinch the AFC West, but what they're really interested in is clinching a bye for the first round. To do that, they'll need to finish with a better record than the Bengals. The Chargers are currently one game ahead in this race and in control of their own destiny.

The Bengals were never really in the game in Minnesota this week. Favre had a so-so day, but the Vikings defense stepped up and shut down Cincinnati's passing game. Add in 85 yards of Bengals penalties, and you've essentially got a game that was handed to the Vikings on a silver platter (or perhaps a silver-plated platter?). The Bengals will win their division with another win or a Packers loss. Their upcoming games are at San Diego, vs Kansas City, and at New York Jets.

The game of the week next week is probably Chargers/Bengals, because it is very likely to determine which of those teams has to play in the first round, and which team gets a bye week.

The Patriots managed to pull off a 20-10 win at home against Carolina, but they didn't deserve it. Tom Brady threw three interceptions (though one of them was entirely Randy Moss's fault, and a second one was mostly Moss's fault). Randy Moss's work ethic is showing again, and this week he played at an unprofessional 75% intensity, cutting routes short, refusing to even try to tackle after turnovers, and fumbling the ball the only time he caught it. It was nothing short of disgraceful, especially considering the tight race in the AFC East. Brady and Moss owe the Patriots defense a fine meal, because the defense won this game while the offense was trying to give it away.

The Pats are 8-5, and in the lead in the division. The Jets and Dolphins are both 7-6. One of those three teams will win the division. The other two will join Denver, Baltimore and Jacksonville in a five-way race for the two wild cards.

The Pats play: at Buffalo, vs Jacksonville, at Houston
The Dolphins play: at Tennessee, vs Houston, vs Pittsburgh
The Jets play: vs Atlanta, at Indianapolis, vs Cincinnati

The Ravens play: vs Chicago, at Pittsburgh, at Oakland
The Jags play: vs Indianapolis (Thursday), at New England, at Cleveland
The Broncos play: vs Oakland, at Philly, vs Kansas City

NFC:
In: 13-0 Saints, 11-2 Vikings
Essentially in: 8-4 Cardinals
Probably getting in: 9-4 Eagles, 9-4 Packers
Fighting to stay in: 8-5 Cowboys
Keeping it interesting: 7-6 Giants
Fooling Themselves: 6-7 Falcons, 5-7 49ers

The Eagles beat the Giants in a 45-38 shootout on the wet turf of Giants stadium. Neither team brought their defense. Instead, both teams brought out an array of playground plays that only work when the other team isn't tackling (three 60+ yard touchdown passes, 60+ yard punt returns, 60+ yard fumble recoveries, that sort of thing). Even Michael Vick threw a 30+ yard pass. The Eagles at 9-5, are now solidly in control of the NFC East. The 8-5 Cowboys could catch them, but with their case of the Decembers, and their upcoming schedule, it seems unlikely. The Giants at 7-6 are not out of the wild card picture, but last night's loss probably takes them out of the race for the NFC East.

The Giants play: at Washington (Monday), vs Carolina, at Minnesota
The Cowboys play: at New Orleans, at Washington (Sunday Night), vs Philly
The Eagles play: vs SF, vs Denver, at Dallas

Two of those three teams will probably get in.

The Packers had no problems defeating Chicago 21-14 (Green Bay got off to an early lead, and while it looked like Chicago had the opportunity to come back, the Packers defense managed to shut those hopes down). The loss takes the Bears out of the playoff picture. The win almost guarantees Green Bay a berth (though Minnesota will probably win the division, the Packers are two games ahead of the rest of the pack for a wild card).

The Saints just barely beat the Falcons this week 26-23, which guarantees that New Orleans will have a first round bye, and will play at home during the second round. If they continue to play this poorly, they probably won't make the third round.

The Vikings got in this week when they beat the Bengals. They're now battling it out with the Saints in the fight for potential home field advantage in round three, and with all of the 9-4 and 8-4 teams for a first-round bye. These battles are likely to go through week 16 or 17, so the Saints and Vikings are a lot less likely to rest their players.

The Saints play: vs Dallas (Saturday), vs Tampa Bay, at Carolina
The Vikings play: at Carolina (Sunday night), at Chicago (Monday), vs NY Giants

The Packers play: at Pittsburgh, vs Seattle, at Arizona
The Eagles play: vs SF, vs Denver, at Dallas
The Cardinals play: at SF (Monday), at Detroit, vs St Louis, vs Green Bay

Wait... The Cardinals have four games to play?

The Game
Tonight, you get your yearly excuse to leave the office early with a simple two-word statement: “Niners Game”. Because tonight, our very own 5-7 San Francisco 49ers host the 8-4 Arizona Cardinals, in a game that works like a playoff game for SF. If the Cardinals win, they'll clinch the NFC West, and will (finally) take San Francisco out of the race. If the Niners win, they'll stay in the hunt for at least another week.

The grass at Candlestick is a mixture of Tifway II Bermuda grass overseeded with a generic rye grass. It is replaced yearly under a contract with West Coast Sod. It tends to rank in the middle on the NFL players' turf survey.

The Line
Arizona is favored by three. The over/under is 45.

Last week, the smart money won. It is now 14-8 for the season, a 21.5% ROI. Over the same time, the S&P 500 has gone up 7.85%, and the dollar has lost 0.7% compared to the Euro.

Tonight, the smart money takes the Over.

The Bar
It's a niners game, so many of the usual haunts are likely to be packed to the gills tonight. The usual solution in this scenario is to go somewhere that's big and has a huge TV.  So, this week, we'll be going to the first bar in San Francisco that I got 86'ed from.

Jillian's at the Metreon.
101 Fourth Street (at the corner of Mission)
Steps from the 30, 45, 14 and 14L busses.
One block from the Powell St Muni/BART station and every Market St. bus.

Jillian's is the sort of place that can hurt your wallet if you miss happy hour, so come early.

Kickoff is at 5:30.  See you there?