Week 7 — Mon Oct 20 16:41:06 PDT 2008

From: Jeff
To: mnf@doobie.com
Date: Mon Oct 20 16:41:06 PDT 2008
Subject: It's Monday...

...and today is the last day to register to vote in California.

Register today, and help us all say Adios to George W. Bush... just as the NFL is saying Adios to Pacman Jones. (wah-wah-wah...bloop-bloop)

Pacman Jones has been suspended by the NFL again, for violating the league's personal conduct policy. While commissioner Goodell suggests that he will reconsider the suspension under certain circumstances, it is entirely possible that Pacman will not ever play in the league again.

Before going to the week's summary, abbreviated, here's a quick rundown on Pacman's career:

Jones was drafted in the first round by the Titans in 2005, where, after a contract dispute, he eventually signed a five year, $13.5 million dollar contract, in time to play in the pre-season. He played two years, and the team went 4-12, then 8-8. Then came the “making it rain” incident (remember? He wanted to get tens of thousands of dollars back from the stripper he'd been throwing C notes at, she disagreed, punches flew, three people got shot, a trash bag full of hundreds went out the door, and Jones' entire entourage got arrested). Pacman was suspended for the 2007 season, and lost his $1.3M salary.

After some speculation that he might become a Raider, he turned up this year in Dallas on an extremely short leash – which he apparently broke earlier this month. Apparently, he got drunk at a private party, and when his bodyguard told him that it was time to go home, because he was about to make an ass out of himself, Pacman took the opportunity to make an ass out of himself. He started a fistfight with his bodyguard (Hey dumbass: this is the very guy who's getting paid to keep you out of this sort of trouble).

Comissioner Goodall says that Pacman's been suspended for at least four weeks, but hinted that it would likely be much longer. Jerry Jones spent the last two weeks shopping for a kick return guy. Pacman Jones heads to a stint in Betty Ford. He played three games as a Cowboy.

OK. On to this week. Thanks to the music summit, I'm going to try to keep this week short. Very short. Here are four games, three lines each.

Buffalo 23, S.D. 14.

Buffalo! for real?
Interceptions cost bolts big.
To London with you.

St. Louis 34, Dallas 14.

Another upset.
Injuries crush Cowboy's chance
to avoid spanking.

Washington 14, Cleveland 11.

Redskins just hold on.
Awful offense on both sides.
Often hard to watch.

Tennessee 34, Kansas City 10

Lossless Titans win,
unsurprising victory.
T'was only the Chiefs.

Tonights game is soon
Denver goes to New England.
Finds half-assed passer.

The Game:

The 4-2 (and tops in the NFC West) Denver Broncos go to Foxborough, Mass to take on the 3-2 New England Patriots, who have been struggling under perennial backup QB Matt Cassel and their questionably named defense, on the evenly shaved Fieldturf of Gilette Stadium (nee CMGI Field).

After four years of having some of the most poorly maintained grass in the NFL, the groundskeepers in New England finally did the sensible thing and switched to turf... in the middle of the 2006/07 season.

The Line:

New England is favored by three. The over/under is 48 and a half.

The Smart Money won last week. It is now 7-4 for the season, representing a 21.5% ROI. Over the same time, the S&P 500 has gone down 20.5%.

This week, the Smart Money takes Denver and the under.

The Bar:

Underdogs Sports bar and Grill
1824 Irving Street (near 19th Ave)

Within a block of the N. Also within a block of the 71, 71L, 16AX and 16BX busses. The 16AX is especially good, as it doesn't stop between Turk/Van Ness and 19th/Lincoln.

Kickoff is at 5:30.  See you there?

 

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