Week 3 — Mon Sep 22 16:05:51 PDT 2008
From: JeffTo: mnf@doobie.com
Date: Mon Sep 22 16:05:51 PDT 2008
Subject: It's Monday...
...and the 3-0 Buffalo Bills are on top of the AFC East?
Enjoy it while you've got it, Bills fans. Anybody who actually watched that game yesterday knows that your team has no business being #1 at much of anything. Sort of like George W. Bush, Carly Fiorina, Henry Paulson, Ken Lay, Sarah Palin, William Shatner, and the 1982 Kennedy High School Marching Band.
Yes, this Sunday, the Bills somehow managed to escape their own incompetence, and score 17 points against the Oakland Raiders in the last eight minutes of the game. This earned them a 24-23 victory that they in no way deserved. The Raiders fall to 1-2, and Al Davis again considers firing rookie coach Lane Kiffin. I think Lane's job is safe for another week, but I wouldn't be so sure once the Raiders go to their bye week. The Bills on the other hand are the only 3-0 team in the AFC East.
Wait, does that mean what I think it means?
Yes. Yes it does. The Miami Dolphins went to Foxborough, Mass this week – and issued a 38-13 textbook beatdown to the New England Patriots. The last time the Patriots lost a regular season game was December 7, 2006 – a 21-0 pounding by... The Dolphins. I know there will be many shouts of “but Brady's hurt!” but may I remind you that Tom Brady does not play defense. The defense allowed the Dolphins to gain an average of 8.1 yards on every offensive play. Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown ran for four touchdowns, behind one of the worst offensive lines in the league. He threw a 19 yard option pass for another one. There's something else notable in those touchdowns: all four were on a play where the ball was snapped directly to the running back. This formation apparently freezes the Patriots cold, as Miami used it successfully six times. Last year, this was an illegal procedure. Makes you wonder who else had this play in their playbook before this week, and how many more will be practicing it on Tuesday. The Patriots are now 2-1. The Dolphins, 1-2.
The New York Giants were playing at the Meadowlands when we flew over it in a Bombardier Q400 yesterday (it's a shitty regional jet, and is apparently very difficult to land smoothly). In the 30 seconds or so that I could see from overhead, it looked like the Bengals were moving the ball fairly well against the Giants early in the fourth quarter. It turns out that they were orchestrating something of a comeback, that ended with a field goal in the closing seconds to send the game to overtime. At this point, I was having a tasty burger within sight of the plasma screen in the steakhouse at Newark airport (yes, there's a legitimate steakhouse, and yes, it's quite good – though since it's inside security, there are no steak knives to be seen. The smell of expense account was definitely in the air.)
But enough about that... what about the overtime? To tell you the truth, it was fairly pedestrian. The teams kicked the ball at each other once, then Eli Manning found Amani Toomer along the sidelines, setting up an easy 22 yard field goal. Basically, the Giants outlasted the Bengals, finally finishing off a game that was sloppy all around. The Giants are 3-0, the Bengals... 0-3.
Not sleeping quite so soundly these days is Martin Gramatica (of the Gramatica kicking dynasty). This week, the Saints (Martin's future ex-employer) went to Denver and took on the Broncos. Nobody brought their defense – there was a combined 43 points scored before halftime. So, immediately after the two minute warning, the Broncos ahead 34-32, and the ball on the 21 yard line, the Saints lined up a field goal attempt. Gramatica missed what would've probably been the game winner. If it happens again, he will almost certainly be fired. The Broncos go to 3-0. The Saints are 1-2.
Dallas went to Green Bay and comfortably handled the Packers. Apparently the pack spent the entire week figuring out how to stop T.O. (which they did: he had 2 catches for 18 yards). But, as Owens drew double coverage, other Cowboys found themselves wide open. The Dallas running game was looking great out there, too. As much as it pains me to say it, they're probably the best team in the NFL right now. Dallas is 3-0. Green Bay is 2-1.
Dallas, Denver, Giants, Buffalo, and Tennessee are all 3-0. The Ravens are 2-0. Ladies and gentlemen, those are your undefeated teams.
And let's hear it for our own San Francisco 49ers, who crushed Detroit this week 31-13. Newly hired offensive coordinator Mike Martz is really earning his paycheck out there, showing us a 49er offense like we haven't seen in years (317 yards, no turnovers, four touchdowns). The defense got to Lions' QB Jon Kitna over and over again (he went out with a knee injury in the fourth quarter, but I suspect that the coach was thinking about benching him before that). The niners are looking better all around this year, and it's about time. While this team isn't likely to be playoff material just yet, the cheers are definitely getting louder at Candlestick – hope is in the air. SF goes to 2-1. Detroit is 0-3.
That hope, that's hanging around in the air? That's what brings us to tonight's game.
The Game:
Tonight, the 0-2 San Diego Chargers host the 1-1 New York Jets tonight in Qualcomm stadium – home of the Chargers since 1967. Tonight's game will be played on natural grass supplied by West Coast Turf farm. This special mix of Tifway bermuda grass and ryegrass can withstand the extremes of Southern California – sometimes. The Chargers keep a half acre sod farm growing near the parking lot, to provide them additional turf for the inevitable patching and re-sodding that is always required by December.
According to the groundskeepers, they no longer paint the field green the way they used to in the drought-ravaged 1980s and early 90s.
The Chargers are playing with something to prove. They've started 0-2 this year, but they were leading both games with less than one minute to go. Unfortunately, this week, they're hosting Brett Favre, who is probably best known for last second heroics. This one is likely to be a good one.
The Line:
The Chargers are favored by 8. The over/under is 44.5.
Last week, the smart money went 2-0. It is now 4-2 for the season, representing a 27.2% ROI. Over the same time, the S&P 500 has gone down 2.2%.
Tonight, the smart money takes the over. Do either of these teams have a defense worth betting on?
The Bar:
Once again, the longevity of this place astonishes me. Perhaps it's the huge projection TV that they show the games on. Or perhaps it's because the atmosphere scares off all the financial district douchebags and conventioneers (hello Oracle World'ers) that seem endemic to this neighborhood.
Steffs Sports Bar
home of the $1.50 corn dog, and more DNA on the pool table than you want to think about.
141 Second Street, near Minna.
Two and a half blocks from Montgomery St BART/Muni
Within sight of the mission street busses and the Transbay terminal.
Kickoff is at 5:30. Sadly, I will not see you there.
I've just gotten home from a trip to southern Maine, where we watched an old friend get married as the lobster pots bobbed in the water behind her. This trip came less than 24 hours after last week's Vegas adventure. My liver and my internal clock both need some recovery time, so I'm going to take a pass tonight. Next week, I promise.