Week 13 — Mon Dec 1 14:52:59 PST 2008
From: JeffTo: mnf@doobie.com
Date: Mon Dec 1 14:52:59 PST 2008
Subject: It's Monday...
...and what is that crunching sound?
Right... it's the sounds of ankles being sprained, from Buffalo, to Washington, to San Diego and everywhere in between, as fair-weather fans of all stripes find themselves jumping off of their team's bandwagon.
Yesterday, 12 NFL games were played, many in crappy weather (which should accentuate the home field advantage). Two home teams won. Does this confirm Bill Simmons' assertion that the luxury box has eroded, if not ended, the home field advantage? Here's what he's got to say.
This week, the Bills lost at home to the Niners 10-3. Bills' Kicker Rian Lindell missed two field goal attempts (one from the 20 yard line!). At the end of the game, the Buffalo crowd showered their team with boos, and cups, and beer. The Bills are now 6-6, after starting the year 5-1. This probably takes them out of playoff contention.
The San Diego Chargers can finally join them in that category. This week, they lost their third game in a row (at home to red-hot Atlanta 22-16) , bringing them to 4-8. In the meantime, the Denver Broncos schooled the New York Jets 34-17 in a nasty, New Jersey rainstorm. This brings the Broncos to 7-5. Denver will clinch a playoff spot with two more wins (or one more win, and one more San Diego loss).
The Patriots looked awful at home in the rain against the Steelers, turning over the ball five times, on the way to a 33-10 loss and a 7-5 record. This loss takes New England from the "fighting to stay in" category to the "fighting to get back in" category. In the meantime, Pittsburgh goes to 9-3, and will clinch the NFC North with two more wins (or one win, and some help from other teams)
The Arizona Cardinals could've clinched their playoff spot by winning the night game on Thanksgiving against a Philadelphia team that's been disappointing all season. Instead, has-been quarterback Donovan McNabb lit up the Cards secondary, and Brian Westbrook scored four touchdowns in a 48-20 embarrassment. The Cards will win at least one of their next four games, and that will be enough to put them in the post season, but their performance in Philly on Thursday definitely calls their legitimacy into question.
The Giants will also clinch a playoff spot with their next win. This week, they went to Washington, and beat the Redskins in the rain. The Redskins' offense looked just useless out there, with Clinton Portis running for a mere 22 yards, and the team failing to convert on fourth down twice during the fourth quarter. There was even a missed field goal, though it hardly mattered in this 23-7 beatdown. The 'Skins fall to 7-5, and are solidly in the "fighting to get in" category. The ineptitude shown by the offense on Sunday, when compared to the momentum among the other wild card contenders (Atlanta, Dallas, Carolina), doesn't bode well for playoff dreams in DC.
Here's the current playoff situation:
Essentially in: Giants, Cardinals, Steelers, Titans, Buccaneers, Broncos.
Almost Certainly going to get in: Panthers
Fighting to stay in: Jets, Ravens, Falcons, Vikings(!)
Fighting to get in: Colts, Patriots, Dolphins, Bears, Cowboys.
Barely Relevant: Redskins, Bills.
Oh, and what else happened in the NFL this week? Plaxico Burress became a guest of the great city of New York. He's about to find out just how seriously Manhattan takes its gun laws.
See, on Friday night, he and teammate Antonio Pierce went to the Latin Quarter ("LQ"), a highbrow nightclub in the Radisson hotel at 48th and Lex. (http://lqny.com/). Plax brought a 9mm Glock pistol into the club -- and late in the evening, proceeded to accidentally shoot himself in the thigh.
This responsible gun owner, first brought his piece into a place where handguns are likely prohibited (1: NYC, 2: location that serves alcohol). Then, he pointed his weapon at something he didn't intend to destroy, while that weapon was loaded, and ready to fire: a round in the chamber, safety off. Even before the trigger got pulled, that's all sorts of stupid.
He was treated and released, and his leg is going to heal... but he can say goodbye to his Giants uniform. See, Manhattan's gun laws are quite simple when it comes to handguns: you can not possess one without a valid NYC license. No other license will do. Running afoul of this law is almost always a felony. Most NYC licenses do not allow even lawful gun owners to take their handguns outside of their homes, unless their gun is unloaded and locked in a case. Firing an unlicensed weapon in a (probably crowded) nightclub on a Friday night in midtown Manhattan? That's all sorts of felony.
Even for an athlete, just bringing the gun to the party is a Riker's class offense, with another one tacked on for firing it in a public place, and yet another one for giving that weapon to (unlicensed) Antonio Pierce. Burress intends to plead not guilty. See you in 2 1/2 to 5, Plaxico. You can bet that your release date will be on Jerry Jones' calendar.
Monday Night Football is the highest-rated television show in its timeslot among American prisoners. Even when the game is a stinker, it's not a good idea to tune to CSI:Miami during the fourth quarter if Big Maurice is still watching the game.
Which brings us to tonight's game...
The Game:
Tonight, the 4-7 Jacksonville Jaguars go to Houston to play the 4-7 Texans, in a game that is sure to be plagued with turnovers, as both of these teams seem to have been fighting bouts of fumbleitis all season long. The loser of this game will be mathematically eliminated, but really, both of these teams are already playing for next year's draft pick (which will likely get traded to New England).
With that said, when they played each other earlier this year, it went to overtime, before Jacksonville won by a field goal.
Houston's Reliant Stadium was the first in the NFL with a semi-transparent retractable roof. It also features the StrathAyr removable, hydroponic turf system, which allows the field to be removed by (union-driven) forklift in 8 foot squares. This allows the stadium to be used for Rodeos, Disney on Ice, basketball and more. It was installed in 2002 by Rehbein Environmental Solutions, and is planted with a patented form of fescue grass that they call RTF.
The Line:
The Texans are favored by three. The over/under is 48 and a half.
Last week, the Smart Money lost, because Saints QB Drew Brees failed to suck as much as usual (his trio of interceptions this week made up for it, I guess). It is now 13-8 for the season, representing an ROI of 18.1%. The S&P 500 has gone down 33.8% in the same timeframe.
This week, the Smart Money takes the over.
The Bar:
Football, both pointy and round is served here, in a friendly, comfortable, almost plush joint that seems entirely out of place in the lower haight.
Danny Coyle's
668 Haight Street (between Pierce and Steiner)
Within (sadly, confirmed) barfing distance of the 6, 7, 71 Muni busses.
Just a couple blocks from the N, the 22 and 24.
I'm taking a pass this week, both because I've got some consultant-related things to attend to, and because I suspect this isn't going to be much of a game. But, the last time I did that, it turned out to be a great one.
Kickoff is at 5:30.