Week 4 — Mon, 1 Oct 2007
From: JeffTo: mnf@doobie.com
Subject: It's Monday...
..and this is apparently the week of the quarterback.
Let's start with the obvious. Brett Favre and the Packers are 4-0?
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Packers, with their geriatric quarterback, marginal defensive line, and truly pathetic running game, have won yet another game, and are looking playoff-bound. Their 4-0 start includes three wins over NFC North opponents (including yesterday's 23-16 defeat of the Vikings). At this point, the conference is theirs to lose, and if Favre keeps playing football like this, it might just make up for that embarrassing BowFlex commercial that he's in.
As for the game, it was a hard fought game of bizarre numbers. Green Bay's punter had the Packers' longest running play of the first half (7 yards on a 4th down fake punt). That same punter kicked five perfect boots, averaging almost 50 yards a kick, with spectacular hang-time, too. Wondering about that pathetic running game? They managed 41 yards this week, total. The Vikings' defense knew that Green Bay would be throwing the ball virtually every play, and yet they still allowed 384 yards, and didn't intercept a single pass. Meanwhile, Brett Favre threw his 421st touchdown (the record breaker) during the first quarter to Greg Jennings, a relatively unknown second year player, who was running a perfect slant pattern. #422 went to a rookie who's young enough to date Brett's daughter. There's a "Nice Catch" joke here somewhere, I think. Green Bay hosts Chicago next week. The Vikings have the week off. I hear there's a boat on its way to Windsor, ON already.
For every Nice Catch joke, there needs to be a Dropped Ball joke. For this, I offer you Norv Turner. This week, the struggling San Diego Chargers hosted the Kansas City Chiefs, and turned a 16-6 halftime lead into a crushing 30-16 loss. The San Diego crowd wanted nothing to do with this game -- all day long, the boos rained down (Considering QB Phillip Rivers's 2 interceptions, one fumble, and 50% completion rate, they were well deserved). Late in the 4th quarter, when the the Chargers turned the ball over on downs, after four straight incomplete passes, the well-tanned crowd had enough. First, the boos, and then, a chant of "Maaaar-ty! Maaaar-ty!" -- as if they could reverse the back office's dreadful personnel decision. The Chargers may be a better team than this (though I think the analysts give them too much credit), but both the quarterback and the coach have been little more than useless. The Chargers fall to 1-3, and go to Denver next week. Last year's Marty Schottenheimer-led Chargers went 14-2. The Chiefs are an unlikely 2-2 and will be hosting Jacksonville. Norv is interviewing realtors.
Well-known useless quarterback Rex Grossman managed to make himself useful this week -- by keeping the bench toasty warm. Unfortunately for the Bears, that means that the relic of uselessness himself, Brian Griese, played the game against the Detroit Lions. Griese, in an effort to make Rex Grossman look good, threw three interceptions and 18 incomplete passes. Both teams played horrible, ugly, nearly unwatchable football for three quarters. They kicked the ball at each other. A field goal was blocked. Another one was missed. Many passes were dropped. And then at the beginning of the fourth quarter, the Lions woke up. It started with a short pass for a touchdown, followed by a Griese interception returned for a touchdown -- 14 Lions points in a little under two minutes. That set the tone for the fourth quarter -- Detroit ended up scoring 34 points, which is a new NFL fourth quarter record, on the way to a 37-27 win. The Bears just aren't a very good football team, and the only quarterback controversy in Chicago has to do with the unfortunate lack of available free agents. 1-3 Chicago goes to Green Bay next week -- watch the spread on this game! 2-2 Detroit goes to Washington (where they have never won... ever).
This week, the Seattle Seahawks came to town and beat our own 49ers in a 23-3 rout. Considering the niners' offense was only good for 184 yards, and they turned the ball over three times, it's amazing that the score was that low. The Seahawks were playing like a veteran team -- textbook football. It's as if they were able to predict San Francisco's every move, and it showed (uh, six sacks?). When you hear me mention the 49ers during the week of quarterbacks, you know that the news is not likely to be good. In fact, the quarterback situation is dire. On the third play of the game, Alex Smith, who we were just starting to like, gets sacked hard, and leaves the game with a separated shoulder. This leaves the offense in the hands of Trent Dilfer. And what hands those are: 2 interceptions, 2 fumbles (though neither was turned over), and a 36% completion rate (almost 2/3 of his passes landed on the grass). Everybody better send flowers and get well cards to Alex, or there are going to be some dark days ahead. Seattle goes to Pittsburgh next week, to take on the recently stunned 3-1 Steelers (The Arizona Cardinals beat them 21-14 this week). San Francisco hosts Baltimore.
Dallas's 35-7 defeat of the St. Louis Rams wasn't exactly unexpected this week, but nobody predicted that the game would be the Tony Romo show. The show started shortly before halftime, on a third and three play, when the snap went right over Tony's head. He went running back for it, and instead of falling on it, he reached down to grab the ball, and kicked it even further behind him... finally, 33 yards behind the line of scrimmage, he picks up the ball, turns around, makes a quick fake move, and runs the ball 37 yards up the field for the first down -- and the highlight of the week on every sports show in the country. From that moment on, Romo was unstoppable. Five plays later, he scores on a 15 yard running play at the end of the half (hint: when you put six men on the line and play man-to-man defense against an offense with nobody in the backfield, you're leaving the quarterback uncovered beyond the line of scrimmage). Then, he throws touchdowns on all three of the Cowboys' 3rd quarter possessions (in 12 offensive plays, they scored 21 points). Dallas is 4-0, and pretty dominant in the NFC East. St. Louis is 0-4 and is statistically the worst team in the League (The Dolphins and Saints are the other winless teams, but even they're not as bad as the Rams).
Indianapolis continues to roll along, playing consistently good football, making essentially no mistakes, as their 4-0 record indicates. This week, the Denver Broncos were their victims, 38-20. The Broncos had a good start, opening the game with a 10-0 first quarter, and a running game that seemed to be able to move the ball at will against a very confused Colts defense. But that wasn't enough against a Colts offense that gave up no turnovers, had no fumbles, earned 30 first downs, committed only two penalties, and only punted twice. Once the Colts defense figured out how to defend against the run, and Peyton Manning started scoring touchdowns (including one on a rare quarterback sneak in the third quarter), the game was all over. Denver is a good team that's struggling against its schedule, which should get easier soon, and they're teaching defenses to respect the running game. Next week, they host San Diego in what should be quite a good game. The Colts host Tampa Bay.
Rookie QB Trent Edwards led the Bills to a 17-14 upset over the New York Jets. He threw 22 for 28 for 234 yards, which are better numbers than Peyton Manning had this week. On the other side, Chad Pennington was 32-39 for 290 yards, which is even better... until you look at the interceptions column. Pennington threw two of those, including one during the fourth quarter that essentially sealed the game. Both teams are 1-3. Next week the Jets play the Giants on turf that they both call home. The Bills host Dallas next Monday night.
Isn't there another undefeated quarterback out there that I failed to mention? Oh right. That guy...
The Game:
Tonight, Tom Brady takes the undefeated Patriots to Cincinnati to meet the Bengals -- who are looking more and more like the Bengals of yore -- on the FieldTurf of Paul Brown Stadium.
Paul Brown was the founder of both the Cleveland Browns and the Bengals, and is considered to be the grandfather of the (pass-based) West Coast Offense. He was also the father of Mike Brown, current owner of the Bengals.
This game is a mismatch, and not even a dead hall-of-fame coach with a team named after him can fix that. The Patriots have one of (if not the) best offenses in the league. The Bengals have one of the worst defenses against the pass (remember, they gave up 51 points the the Cleveland Browns not that long ago). There is nobody in the secondary who can keep up with Randy Moss -- so look for a lot of zone defenses and slant patterns. And much like the Bungles of old, these Bengals have a habit of collapsing during the second half -- easily snatching a defeat out of the claws of victory. Look for Tom Brady to sling the ball, and Carlson Palmer to fumble it.
At the least, it should be fun to watch. As long as you're not getting pooped on.
The Line:
Last week, the smart money went 2-0. It is now 2-1 for the season, representing a 27.2% return on investment. The S&P 500 has returned 4.7% over the same period of time.
New England is favored by 7.5. The over/under is 53.5. This week, the smart money takes New England, and considers the over.
The Bar:
Tonight, we're going to an old favorite, with new plasma TVs, and the same bar menu that they've been serving since the 49ers played across the street. Nobody there will care that baseball season has been extended by one day, because after a 162 game season, the Padres and Rockies ended up tied in the race for the final playoff spot.
Kezar Pub
770 Stanyan, between Beulah and Waller
(do not confuse this with Kezar Restaurant on Cole)
Two blocks from the N (get off at Stanyan).
Steps from the 71 and 7 Haight Street busses.
Close enough to the 6, 43, 33 and 37 busses.
Kickoff is at 5:30.
See you there?