Week 3 — Mon, 24 Sep 2007

From: Jeff
To: mnf@doobie.com
Subject: It's Monday...

...and the Buffalo Bills fans are scrambling to find paper bags to wear to next week's game.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this week, those stumbling Bills went to Foxborough, Mass, to take on the Patriots (who were favored by 16.5 points).  The game was pretty much as expected -- a mismatch in virtually every position, that turned into a rout somewhere during the third quarter.  At the end of the day, the score was 38-7,  and the Bills injury list now includes their starting quarterback, a starting linebacker, and 2/3 of their starting secondary.  At the beginning of the season, the Bills were already a pretty poor team -- now that half of their starters are laid up, could it be time to start talking about 0-16?

Last week, I said this: "[The Texans] will be lucky to beat the spread" about their upcoming game with the Colts.  Well, it looks like the Texans got lucky.  Although they still lost 30-24, they did, in fact, beat the spread, and played a hell of a game.  This game was just brutal, though -- many of Houston's players went off the field with injuries (joining star receiver Andre Johnson who hurt his knee last week).  On the other side of the ball, The Colts looked like the consistent, powerful team that they are.  Their 3-0 start almost seems routine, and if they can stay healthy, there's no reason why they shouldn't win the AFC South this year.

Brett Favre tied Dan Marino's record for 420 career touchdown passes this week, in the Packers 31-24 come from behind upset of the Chargers.  We can only assume what Ricky Williams did to celebrate.  This is one of those records that will get far too much press coverage and TV time, both this week for the tie, and next week when he breaks it.  Shick will not offer to sponsor Favre's Mississippi-chic redneck beard.  Dan Marino, douchebag that he is, will not mention the record on TV without also saying the words "tied" and "undefeated Dolphins" (though in response, Favre will wear a Superbowl ring to his "Inside the NFL" interview session).  Even after he loses the record, Marino's hair will continue to be sponsored by Miss Clairol.

For as good as the Packers played (especially their offensive line), and the classic Favre-led 4th quarter comeback, this game was more about what San Diego could do to lose.  Most of this rested on the play-calling ability of Norv Turner, who can seemingly take any team and make them a losing team.  I'll offer a tip to the Chargers back office: don't hire Steve Spurrier next, he'll only make it worse.  Fortunately for Norv, the next few games on the Chargers schedule should go a little easier, because they include Kansas City and Oakland.  But if I were him, I wouldn't be looking at real estate in San Diego.

Speaking of real estate, let's talk about the Bears and Rex Grossman.  Last night they welcomed Dallas into Chicago, and only played for half of the game, letting the Cowboys rack up 431 yards in offense on their way to a 31 point second half, a 34-10 victory, and their first 3-0 start in 8 years.  I'm not sure what happened to the Bears defense during halftime, but they went from constantly hurrying Tony Romo and stopping the Cowboys' running game cold, to seemingly getting out of the way as Marion Barber and T.O. went running by.  As for Rex, the seemingly useless passer threw three interceptions, 17 incompletions, and no touchdowns -- putting him pretty much at the bottom of the quarterback ladder this week.  Perhaps he should be looking for real estate in San Diego, since numbers like that aren't likely to keep him in Chicago long enough to buy a windshield ice scraper.

The Pittsburgh Steelers hosted our own San Francisco 49ers, and turned their defense loose on poor Alex Smith and the rest of the niners offense, holding them to one touchdown, and essentially eliminating the running game (if this sounds familiar, it's because they've done the same thing to all three teams they've played -- overall, they've outscored their opponents 97-26 this year, only allowing two touchdowns. Two.)   On the other side of the ball, Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is looking like a consistent passer again (13 of 20 passes caught, no interceptions).  He's not particularly flashy, and some of his numbers aren't stellar (160 yards of passing this game, for instance), but when you combine it with a solid running game, and some very smart choices made by rookie coach Mike Tomlin, it's not hard to see how the Steelers had a 20 point fourth quarter on their way to a 37-16 victory.  Pittsburgh goes to Arizona next week, for a game that's going to have a sizable point spread.

Ladies, gentlemen, and Kelli (who threatened to kick my ass if I berated Brett Favre again this week), those are your five undefeated teams.  On the other side of the leaderboard, we have 0-3 starts from St. Louis, Miami, Atlanta, and the previously mentioned Bills.  Not quite parity... but that brings us to tonight's game

The Game:

Tonight, the surprisingly awful 0-2 New Orleans Saints welcome the marginally better 1-1 Tennessee Titans to the Sportexe Momentum artificial turf under the Superdome.  The Saints were expected to look a lot better this year, but they haven't really gotten their offense working.  Meanwhile, the Titans can play some very competitive, if unspectacular, football (their 22-20 loss to the Colts was one of the better games this year).  This is one of those games where the first quarter is likely to define the rest of the evening -- if Drew Brees and the Saints can get things started (and get the crowd into the game early), they might pull it out.  Otherwise, we're looking at five winless teams.  It's notable that this is New Orleans's home opener -- they are the only team in the league that hasn't played at home yet.  That, plus the dome, should make the crowd a very real factor tonight.

The Line:

The Saints are favored by five.  The over/under is 45.5.  
The smart money is 0-1, representing a 100% loss.  The S&P 500 has gained 3.32% in the same time frame.

This week, the smart money takes the Titans and the under.


The Bar:

Pete's Tavern
128 King Street  (formerly Kingfisher, for those who know the neighborhood)
Across from the ballpark, steps from the N and K/T trains, and within a block of Caltrain and the 3rd/4th transit corridors.

I've got plans in SOMA this evening that will take me away from the game sometime before halftime, so I needed to pick a spot down there, and this newly opened place seemed to fit the bill.  A beautiful and huge stained wood bar, shitloads of plasma TVs, and a whole lot of beers on tap suggest that this place has a lot of potential -- as long as the Momo's crowd stays away.  There's just no need for the foul stank of Armani to overwhelm the entire block.

Kickoff is at 5:30.  See you there?

-Jeff

---