Week 6 — 18 Oct 2004

From: Jeff
To: mnf@fat.doobie.com
Subject: It's Monday...

...and the Yankees put more points on the board on Saturday than 11 NFL teams did on Sunday.

The Patriots, Eagles, and Jets are still undefeated. The Steelers, Broncos and Falcons are still teams to beat. Statistically, the Eagles are the top team in the NFL.

That's unfortunate, as the attitudes of many of the Eagles players (including once-49er Terrell Owens), aren't exactly the kind that most fans want to see rewarded. At least it plays well in Philly, home of the big foam finger that's just a bit too symmetrical to be saying "We're #1".

The Falcons are playing in a very weak division (second to them in the NFC South are the 2-4 Saints). They've essentially made the playoffs already. The Patriots and Jets play in the same divison. One of them is essentially already in, and the other is probably destined to get a wild card, but it's too early to tell which one is which.

And that "shit, did someone leave sushi on the dashboard" stink? That would be the 0-6 Miami Dolphins, as they rot in the Florida sun. How far the mighty fins have fallen.

This is parity. This is what happens when coaches change teams every few years, when back offices have to employ dozens of accountants to make the salary cap numbers work.

The NFL started preaching parity as a virtue a couple years back, as a way to make marginal, small-market teams competitive, in the hopes that by raising the level of their teams (and by lowering everyone else's), that the NFL would sell more tickets, overall.

It worked. Well, the ticket sales part did. The Bengals still suck, and we can still get an idea of the playoff picture 1/3 of the way through the season. The 2-4 Washington Redskins are the most profitable team in the League, but they can't buy themselves a quarterback despite their bankroll (though at least they can afford de-greaser for Clinton Portis's hands). Atlanta can't afford to hire Jerry Rice and give Michael Vick the quality of receiver that he deserves, and they're 5-1. Something's wrong here.

The shift in focus of the NFL has put a lot of money in the owners' pockets, put sommeliers into the luxury boxes (while eliminating the Beer Man in many stadiums), and it's sent a lot of fans to NASCAR.

But one thing remains the same: They still play football on Monday night, and at the end of the day... the game's more important than the owners, the bad-attitude players, and all the luxury boxes in the world. And the game is as healthy and as fun to watch as ever.

The Game:

Tonight, the 1-4 but-at-least-we're-not-the-Dolphins Tampa Bay Buccaneers go to Saint Louis to take on the 3-2 at-least-we're-not-in-LA Rams on the roll-away, yet still pretty awful, astroturf inside the versatile Edward Jones Dome (home of 125 luxury boxes, the occasional convention, and in March, the NCAA final four (!) ).

The Bucs have no offense. QB Brian Griese (formerly a Bronco), started the season as a third-stringer. They're averaging something like 13 points per game. The only reason that the entire state of Florida doesn't smell like well-aged hamachi is that the Tampa Bay defense has been holding the other team to under 18 points, on average. Just two years after winning the Super Bowl, they've returned to their old ways as the laughable Bucs of my youth

St. Louis on the other hand, has a middle-of-the road defense (i.e. average... so the Bucs are statistically likely to score 13-14 points), but their offense is one of the better ones in the league. And... thanks to two-straight Seahawk losses, and a 3-0 division record, the Rams will go to first place in the NFC West, and will become a team to beat if they win tonight.

So at least we'll have a half-decent game. When the Rams have the ball, the talent will be on the field... and as usual, Tampa Bay's punter will be quite visible.

The Line: The Rams are favored by 6.5, the over/under is 43.

The smart money went 1-1 in last week's blowout; it's now 2-3. Tonight, the smart money takes the under (the o/u just doesn't match up with the stats) and it also takes St. Louis, even against the spread.

The Bar: Last week's journey to the Sunset wasn't a bad one (though I doubt that we'll return to that particular establishment). Tonight, we'll be revisiting the neighorhood...

Yancy's Saloon. 734 Irving b/w 8th and 9th Ave. Spitting distance from the N train. Just a few (damp) blocks from the 44, 71, 43 and 66 busses. A big TV. and home of possibly the worst margarita in The City.

Take-out food is nearby.

Kickoff is at 6:00. See you there?

-Jeff

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